Sometimes you just need a few ideas of where to get started. The following are 4 simple ideas that you can use to actively engage with play with your child and build some bonds. I’ve tried to choose things that use what you probably already have around the house.
Make sure you have intentionally allocated the time for play. Book it in your diary if you need to! Don’t try to play with them if you are in a rush or try and play while you’re doing something else. They need your WHOLE attention. So, no phones either! (No, not even to take a cute pic – this isn’t the time!)
If you have more than one child, try to ensure that you allocate time to spend with each of them individually so they know they will have your undivided attention at some point. This can take some time to put in and establish into the family routine, but when each child knows they will get time with you, they will often respect the time you are spending with a sibling as they know their turn will happen.
With all of these suggestions, please don’t force or insist that your child plays with you, that’s not the idea. Perhaps give them a choice of a couple of activities and leave it to them. If they’re not keen, start playing and you may find that they join you once they become curious. If they really don’t want to – leave it for another time.
Bubbles
So simple and yet so much fun!
Just a simple bottle of bubbles, homemade or shop bought, can lead to a whole lot of fun. Let your child blow the bubbles or you might like to do that bit if they are younger. They will happily run around bursting the bubbles. Make it a game. Can they use their imagination to think of the bubbles as something else, are they capturing baddies/fairies/stars with every one they burst or are they a crocodile waiting to snap up their ‘bubble dinner?’. Can they catch them on their hands? Pop them with different parts of their body?
Just a simple bottle of bubbles, homemade or shop bought, can lead to a whole lot of fun. Let your child blow the bubbles or you might like to do that bit if they are younger. They will happily run around bursting the bubbles. Make it a game. Can they use their imagination to think of the bubbles as something else, are they capturing baddies/fairies/stars with every one they burst or are they a crocodile waiting to snap up their ‘bubble dinner?’. Can they catch them on their hands? Pop them with different parts of their body?
Therapeutically, bubbles are very good for regulating breathing. Having to blow bubbles can help to calm a child who is feeling anxious or upset. They are gentle and can be calming and at the same time can be popped aggressively to get rid of pent up anger.
Take a Line for a Walk
One piece of paper and one pen/pencil is all that’s needed for this. Colours etc are an added bonus but not needed if you don’t have access to them.
You or your child start anywhere on the page and walk the pen around the page. You can tell a story as you go or encourage the child to as well. E.g. One day Mr Pen went out of his house and down the road, he realised he’d forgotten his hat so he went back for it. He walked round and round the shop looking for what he wanted etc.” It can be nice for you to hold the pen and your child to tell you where to go next. This can build communication.
You can also do this ’scribble’ quickly and then look at it together and discuss what you can see in the ‘scribble’. Make it into what you can see by adding eyes, extra features etc.
On a simple level, you can scribble and then colour the bits that are created.
All of these ideas can help to build communication and at its simplest, just being with your child. There is often something calming about being side by side and colouring together. No words needed, just presence.
Cotton Wool
A lovely thing to do to encourage gentle and comforting touch with your child. Not all children will like it, so only do it if you know your child will find touch nurturing rather than an ordeal.
All you need is a cotton wool ball or pad or something else that is soft to touch.
Ask your child if you can gently touch the cotton wool on their hand. Reflect with them what it feels like – i.e. “You say it feels soft” or “It seems to be tickling you.” If they are comfortable with this, you can move in to ask if they have an ‘ouchy’ or somewhere that is hurting (Doesn’t have to be a physical wound, they might say something that you can’t see – that’s fine) You can then very carefully tend to this place with the cotton wool.
It’s really lovely to then let the child do the same for you, if you are comfortable with that.
This play is all about being nurtured. Talking all the time about how it feels.
Ball Games
It may seem obvious, but even a simple ball can provide a wealth of opportunities to connect with your child. From passing, throwing, catching, hide and seek, the opportunities are endless. The key here is to let your child lead the play.
Ask them how they want to play? “
“What shall we do?”
” Do you want to throw it or kick it?”
“Are there any rules?”
Reflecting on the play is the key with this activity. “I can see you’re kicking that ball really hard.” “You’re trying to catch the ball but it keeps falling down. I wonder if that feels frustrating?”
Time invested in allowing your child to see you have made space to just be with them is so crucial to building a better connection.